White

...

After that when we were lying in bed, his eyes were shut and his breaths were so calm that I thought he was really sleeping. I remember my right hand was on his chest and his arms firmly grabbed around my shoulders. The room was really quiet I could hear the small buzzing sound of the air conditioner and the voices of people shouting from the streets 6 stories down.

- What are you thinking about? I asked him, breaking the unusual silence,

- White. He answered. His eyes still closed.

- Is white good or white bad? Do you like white? I asked, looking at his static facial expression.

- I don't really know if I like white or not. But what i know is that it blends so well with other colors. It's so good at that job that you cannot really see it anymore, all you can see is the lighter versions of those colors.

The room became quiet again. And again I could hear the small buzzing sound of the air conditioner, and the voices of people shouting from the streets 6 stories down.

...

I don't know why I remember this conversation right now, at this moment. It just suddenly pops up in my head, like a volcano quietly explodes from deep down the ocean, and the lava is springing out, slow, hot, and burning.

Almost 2 years have passed. TIme really does fly. And all that's left is white.

...

Pains and Wisdom

My wisdom teeth are growing. Again. Once in a while they grow a little more, leaving me in pains for several days, and then stop, and then start again.

I've had a dentist checking them out before. They're not impacted, they're growing slowly, but quite properly, meaning that they shouldn't be a big problem or affecting my other teeth. So I had 2 options, taking them out, although there's technically nothing wrong with them, or leaving them there and endure the pain once in a while, till they finish growing. I chose to leave them there.

My mother says these teeth shouldn't be called "wisdom" in the very first place, because all they do is hurting you and they have no functional purpose at all. The wisdom teeth we call, are actually one of the vestiges of our ancestors, before they evolved into modern humans as we are today. These teeth used to be useful when humans still ate very rough food. But since we leant how to make fire and change our diet into cooked, and much softer food, they've become useless. In other words, wisdom teeth are only there to remind us of our primitive origin, that we humans, not much different from other animals, used to live in caves and eat raw food.

I disagree with my Mom though. Is it fair, to say that all the painful things that remind us of a not so beautiful past are useless, and not "wisdom"? Are all pains useless? 

Because they do, after all, remind us of how much we've grown, and how much we've "evolved". They do, after all, tell us the story of how we've moved away from that not pretty past into this better present, of how things changed, and how we changed. That's the whole point of being wise, to know where you were then, where you are now, and the journey you took to get from there to here, isn't it?

If that is not wisdom, then I don't really know what is.

My n time of attempting to do something

I'm gonna write real short in this very first entry, because it's kinda late already, and I'm craving for a smoke before going to bed.

So. Another blog. I don't know how many times I've attempted to run a blog. And I failed every time. Maybe impatience runs in my blood. You know you're impatient when you flush the toilet before you even finish peeing. That's kinda who I am. Not the peeing thing. The impatient thing. Many people tend to think otherwise though. I don't know why, maybe I don't strike them as an impatient person, with all my paying attention to details and being a perfectionist and stuff. But the truth is, I'm the exhibit A of impatience. Dictionaries should have my picture next to this word, I guess. Anyway, that's the main reason I can never run a blog consistently, always dropping it off after a while.

I tend to never succeed at things at the 1st try. That's just not my forte. And it's not particularly easy for an impatient guy like me to continue doing things for the 2nd, the 3rd, the ... time. But for the last 20 years, I've made do. I failed, and I tried again, despite how much I wanted give up. And so, like any other thing in my life, this is the n time I've attempted at running a blog. I may succeed this time. I may not. Who knows. But at least I try. I don't know what I would be the main theme of this blog yet. I just think it would be a place where no one visits and I can freely express myself in whatever freaking way I want. Or maybe that's the theme of this blog. Honesty.

Here;s to impatience, flushing the toilet before you finish peeing, and honesty. Also, to the worst blog entry ever.

Cheers.